The Magic And Simplicity Of Building Self-esteem
Self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. I know you probably are going to go back and read that first sentence to make sure I worded it properly.
Many feel that a person is born with it, or maybe was popular in grade school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. If only that were so, we’d all have an excuse to frown and be depressed most the time.
This is actually not the case at all. The beauty you had a crush on in high school who maybe relied mainly on beauty for self-esteem later becomes an adult, has children and stretch marks, and a bad marriage. She escapes into television and maybe chemical dependence. It doesn’t always happen that way, but more regularly than you may think.
Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a “free ride” onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here
So basically, self-esteem can (and will) do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem hashas been compromised for a reason outside of your control. You become fearful of life. You become isolated and scared to try new things. It becomes a viscious cycle. But, self-esteem can be learned for the first time, or for the second time in a different way. Adult self-esteem is not the same as a child’s and not always gotten in the same fashion.
Maybe you were the star athelete and wore the right clothes, made applauded every time you through a touchdown pass. You kept your grades up and you got consistent positive feedback. This helped your esteem. That is often how we get it early in life. But it is no longer that way in adulthood. Later in life, you landed a high paying marketing job and you hate it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her group of friends. And took your self-esteem with them, while you stayed home and drank beer and watched the game on television.
The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.
Consider that on your worst day, you commit to go to a soup kitchen and serve food. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Perhaps it is true when they say, “God works in mysterious ways.” Maybe its the way the universe operates. The fact is, whatever you believe, or don’t believe, it truly works.
I fought low self-esteem for many years. Suddenly I looked up and I was fifty. But now, I’d had a major heart attack and I was keenly aware of my mortality. Heart attack? That was what other people had, not me. I guess everyone thinks that. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus’ book in ‘What About Bob?’, baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I helped other elderly people learn the Internet and even helped a few get into college.
All these little things worked toward building my self-esteem and I don’t say build it back. I don’t think I ever had it in the first place. So self-esteem is new to me, and a little goes a long way.
If we’ve passed the age of forty, we’ve endured some of life’s tough knocks. It has humbled us to a certain degree, hopefully. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone, just for the sake of doing it.
I’m a slow learner, but in ten years, I’ve accomplished a thousand times more than I did in my first forty-three years.
I created the largest cartoon site o the Internet which makes people feel good. I then launched nine gift stores; LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Surfers stop at my stores and often order either for themselves or a friend or family member. Laughter is a great self-esteem builder and is quite bonding.
Exposing ourselves to humor helps us be more light-hearted. We learn to “wear the world like a loose-fitting garment”. If you do not feel you are a funny person, no problem. Just try to expose yourself to something or someone humorous as often as you can.In time dramatic changes can happen and you will like them. I know that I did and I’m a very slow student. Eventually, even for me, it happened and is happening still.
So, as I said, self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. Build some today. Baby steps.
About the Author:
Cartoonist Rick London battled depression and low self-esteem for years. He has since taken a path to feeling better about oneself. He makes others laugh with his cartoon merchandise stores and Top Internet Offbeat Cartoons Easy Self-Esteem: Even If You’ve Never Had It
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